Let me begin at the beginning. No, let me begin a bit later than the beginning.

There was no sign of his bitter and unreasonable cruelty until well into the second week of this doomed voyage. I dined with him nightly in his end of the canoe. He treated me as a friend and colleague. And then the supplies began to run low. I saw no problem. The small settlement of Hartney beckoned only a few kilometers upstream. We would be there in a matter of days. But our Captain began to jealously guard every morsel of food and drink. This was especially a problem with the drink, as it didn't normally come in morsels and was hard to ration.

Our stay in that wheatland paradise they call Hartney was a welcome respite. I hadn't known that Bed and Breakfast's had V.L.T's. There was one to which I developed a special attraction. Draw Poker. Fully drawn Face Cards. Full shapely Hearts. Sharp black Spades. 50 credits for a full house. Had I my way, I'd be there still. He ordered me away, one morning early, without time for a proper farewell - just one more loonie. I'll never forgive him.

The last straw was the restricted access to the Oreos. One per night after the evening meal - what madness! Who in my position would have been able to resist the impulse to mutiny? But no, my previous training held me fast. It wasn't until he began to make unwise decisions that endangered our very mission that I resolved to act.

Choosing to follow the course of the Antler was sheer folly. It could lead to no good, or worse, to Gainsborough! Oh had it only. But here I am, stranded on the bank of this pitifull stream. The canoe sits wedged between two rocks in only a few centimetres of water. And what of my captain? I overpowered him when the madness of taking this course should have become apparent even to one obsessed as was he. I set him adrift clinging to the empty picnic cooler and reversed course. But too late! The river had become unnavigable. And here I sit. I can't return - the rigid Naval Law will see my fishing license revoked for life. I think I must burn the canoe lest the Wildlife Control Agents spot it and guess at it's meaning.

As I dragged it up on the bank, it scaped a wedge in the sand, uncovering something shiny and metallic. It appearred to be an unopenned can of Planter's Mixed Nuts. I'm starving so I opened it immediately. I was very dissapointed, it was empty except for a crumpled piece of paper. It contained a simple message in bold type :

Clue #3 - Watch For the "Un-Real Thing"

Very mysterious!

THE END

Don't you understand. "The End" means you are done. It's over. The story has ended.

Unless, of course, you see the error of your ways and decide to straighten up and fly right .... you could then try the story again and hope for better results. What do you suppose the odds are of that?